Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
