ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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