Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
