I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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