I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you will always have a special place in my vag
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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