gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
