She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
