ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
