Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so much tequila, so little girl.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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