why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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