do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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