If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize