She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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