its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize