Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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