If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
