no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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