But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
