I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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