i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
