i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
