Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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