I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
