Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
