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I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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