so let's talk penis.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
