If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
