Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were trust falling into bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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