and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
