Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
