I hate all girls vehemently.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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