I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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