Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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