i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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