I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
