He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
