Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
