he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
