he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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