you mean i was at the winter classic?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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