Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
