I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
