I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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