it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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