your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize