You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
