did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
