Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
