it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just tell him i said nine months
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
