She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
