yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
