Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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