some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
