A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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